Not As Much Time

In life things will happen and you gotta take a different course of action. I had planned to complete a specific podcast episode for the following day. I was on my phone as I was getting ready for bed and a notification popped up on social Facebook that actor and activist Chadwick Boseman had died. “NO NO NO NO!!! This cannot be true!!!”. This was the prevailing thought that ran through my head.

Now I don’t know about you but when I see something this crazy on the internet, I am reluctant to believe it. You know what I’m saying? I have this process in my head when I see something so provocative on social media where I must validate it for myself first through credible news outlets. Same thing happened when it was announced that legendary National Basketball (NBA) star and icon Kobe Bryant was killed in a tragic helicopter crash earlier in 2020.

So I quickly turned on the t.v. Sure enough, all of the news outlets are reporting the same tragic information that I just had read online. Chadwick had indeed passed away.  Like I eluded to before, Boseman was a tremendously talented actor. He starred in such big screen moves as 42, a biographical sports film about the first black athlete to play in Major League Baseball (MLB). In addition, he starred in other hit titles such as Marshall and Five Bloods. However, his stardom skyrocketed when he donned the role of King T’Chakka of Wakanda in the global hit film Black Panther. Chadwick’s fame and love of people set an iconic example for millions of people of color around the world. As one of the first black superheroes on a major stage, he showed us all that we can indeed be what we are willing to work for. But the question loomed...what happened? Why was this man taken from us way to soon when seemingly he was on top of the world? Well that answer would soon be revealed to us all. Chadwick had passed away after a tremendous battle with colon cancer.

“Wait a minute, I just watched Black Panther for the first time a few years ago”, I thought to myself. The public would also learn that Chadwick had been diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer in 2016. Black Panther was released in 2018. Do the math and you will soon realize that while he was filming Black Panther along with any other roles during that time, that brother was fighting for his life. The crazy thing is, and a lot of the public will attest to the fact that no one had any idea other than his immediate circle. The educated assumption is when he would go on set or he would go to events, wherever they may be he was fighting colon cancer at the same time.

So 2016 he’s diagnosed with state colon cancer, yet he continues to do this job. As my bride and I were laying in bed I said to her “Babe, did you see what happened?” She responded “No,. that can’t be right”. She confirmed it for herself and for the next few days this news was all anyone could talk about.

I didn’t know Chadwick personally, I never met the man. By all accounts he was a great human being. The thing that really stood out to me is the fact that at the time of his transition from this planet he was 43 years old. I will be 40 years old in November 2020, just a few months after Chadwick passed. Which means he was only three years older and this situation got me thinking...

“We do not have as much time as we think.”

Cancer is a bitch, and I pray that they will find a cure in my lifetime. Like many of you, I have lost family to cancer, I’ve lost friends to cancer. In fact, I have a family member battling this monster at the time of this post. I get it, Chadwick losing his life at 43 is an extreme example. Yet if I have learned anything from this past year thus far with tragic accidents, global pandemic, racial tension, wildfires, and a U.S. election that could be one of the most important in the history of this country...life is not guaranteed.  I’m convinced that any one that survives 2020, pardon my language, is a badass. As I stated earlier, his passing had me pondering and asking myself a question. If I could ask Chadwick one thing right now it would be “How were you able to accomplish so much in such a short period of time while fighting something that has killed more humans than anything?” But then another question arose...”If Jesus called me home today, would I be satisfied with the life I’ve lived and what I’ve accomplished up to this point?” My friends, I don’t know about you but without hesitation I said “hellll no!” Don’t get it twisted, I cannot wait to be chillin with Jesus. I mean give me my mansion, robe, and crown. However, I have so much that I want to accomplish. So many people I know I am destined to help. So many football games to attend. LOL. In other words, I would feel as though it was 40 years of unfulfilled potential.

TWO TANKS

During a bible study once I heard a Pastor explain human existence this way...

We are all born with two tanks. Tank One is our Wisdom tank. Tank Two is our Potential tank. When we are born, our Wisdom tank is completely empty. We are void of knowledge. Any programming we inherit is done through our parents and the environment in which we are raised. Our Potential tank is completely full. Anything we could possibly be or do is stored in this tank. The goal is to move through life in such a way that at the time of our death our Potential tank is emptied, and our Wisdom tank is full. In other words, potential not utilized for the betterment of mankind is a life wasted and undeserved. So, I ask you...”where is your wisdom and potential tank with the time you have left?”

“The clock is ticking”

Loved ones, we do not have as much time as we think we do. I am not trying to be fear mongering. I just do not believe in that. Although, I do want to push you into taking inventory of your life. Not from comparing your life and accomplishments to others, but ask yourself the tough questions.

Am I the person I truly want to be?

Am I at a place in life I want to be?

Have I loved others the way I should?

Have I loved myself the way I should?

I could go on and on with a list of thought-provoking scenarios. By asking ourselves these questions today could change our tomorrow. Because as the old saying goes, tomorrow is not guaranteed. There is one thing for certain, you and I will die one day. Your heart will stop beating, your brain will turn off. Your body will say “I’m done” and on each of our death certificates it will have a born date and a date of death. Between those dates will be a space. That space will represent your life and everything you did or did not do. The question is what will your space represent? The clock is ticking. Tick Tock...Tick Tock...Tick Tock.

I am pleading with you to take inventory of your life. If you are not in the job that you really want to be in, why are you there? And do not tell me it’s because you have to pay the bills. Because honestly, that’s BS. Has this year proven to us that we all need to do better and be better. Not in the relationship you wanted...why are you there? Don’t have the career you were so excited about...what have you done to change that situation? You look in the mirror and you are so disappointed in what you see...are you ready to make different choices in what you put in your mouth? The quality of sleep you get? The amount of moving your body does?

Remember, we have only one shot at this. Unless of course you plan on being re-incarnated as a squirrel or an earth worm. Either way, we do not have that much time. Even if living until you are 100 is in your plan that is still not that much time when you think about it. The clock is ticking. Tick Tock...Tick Tock...Tick Tock.

Lessons from 2020

Life is not guaranteed. 2020 has taught us that it can all be taken away from us in an instant.

However, here is the great news...we still have right now. So, I challenge you to do these 5 specific things so that this year has not been in vain.

(1) Ask yourself the tough questions. Tough questions once answered will lead to unique clarity. Don’t be afraid of what might come up. If it hurts a little, that is okay. Sit with that pain for a bit. Learn to use that pain as the fuel you will need to get started on your new path. When the moment of toughness comes (and it will) draw upon that pain. It will help to remember what you don’t want and run toward what you do want.

(2) Seek a mentor(s). This world is just full of individuals that are doing the things or living the lives that we want. What is so amazing is that you do not even have to live in the same hometown to connect with them. The internet gives us so much access to greatness right at your fingertips. All we must do is listen, take what fits you, and implement. Find someone who has the life you “think” you want. I say “think” because the only way we are going to know for sure is to try it. Which leads to the next lesson.

(3) Take "a" step. How many times have we desired sooo bad to do something, but get paralyzed by what to do next? One of the things that I have learned and I now teach my clients is that you will be amazed by is when you start moving forward in the direction of your soul's calling, God (or whatever that means to you) will immediately start responding. But it requires you to take a step. Then another. Andddd another.

(4) Course correct. Along your journey, you will encounter obstacles. Expect them. Expect a loved one not to support you. Expect others not to believe or understand your vision. Expect this shit to just suck at times. Expect to fall down. But expect to get up. Nelson Mandela once said, “I either win or I learn”. That is a mindset that I have adopted and it continues to serve me well. You see with this type of thinking...I never lose. I simply course correct and adjust.

(5) You First. You are a great person. You are kind to strangers. You love your family. Your friends say that you are the best friend ever. You are basically one DNA strand away from being Mother Teresa or Jesus himself. But there is one problem...you end your day exhausted, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied. Why? Because while taking care of everyone else, you left no room for the most important person in your life...you. What good are you to others if you are no good to yourself. Therefore, I strongly recommend that each day you start with you in mind. Who do you want to be today? What is it that you want? What fun do you want to have? If you are needing permission to take care of yourself then let me give it to you this way. The better you can take of you the better you can take care of others.

My dad passed away in January of 2019. He was 72 years old. That means that if I am on that same trajectory, I have just little over 30 years left. I don’t know about you but that is a freaky proposition, especially considering that it feels like I just graduated from high school a few years ago. (full transparency it’s been 21).

It’s time to get busy.

A quote from one of my favorite movie Shawshank Redemption will wrap this up very neatly... “Get busy living. Or get busy dying”.

With all regards and love,

Rob Gray